Of Duct Tape and Hovercraft

ᐃᓚᓐᓇᐃᑦ

Duct Tape Is Your Friend

I used this line as a signature for years. Who could argue with the premise? And who could guess that the Inuktitut word for “duct tape” would prove so elusive?

Updated after a repeat visit to the Hansard and some intensive text-wrangling.

Pointless and Nasty Political Cartoon

Inspired by a hopelessly incomprehensible sketch I once saw on YouTube. In English. If I were painting it today, would the graphs have four bars?

If It Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix It

By the time you’re done with the hovercraft, it will be hard not to think of this line.

Fighting Words

Never mind where I heard this. I don’t give away everything.

The Book of Wisdom Returns

. . . in the unlikeliest of places.

ᓂᕆᙳᓱᒃᑐᖓ

I Can Eat Glass without Hurting Myself

The inevitable follow-up to My hovercraft is full of eels. This time I didn’t have anything to use as a model, so I started from scratch. When you’re talking about eating glass, where else would you start?

I Can Eat Live Warble-Fly Larvae
with a Straight Face

No languages were harmed in the writing of this piece.

Heavy-Handed Metaphor

Why settle for Zap! or Pow! when the ultimate knockout line is ready and waiting?

My Caribou’s Nostrils are Full of Worms

. . . or, what happens when you discover an especially unappe­tizing noun-verb doublet.

Annoying Inspirational Poster

This one just painted itself.

At Home with the Hansard

The Congressional Record doesn’t hold a candle to the Nunavut Hansard.

ᐊᕐᐸᔾᔪᑏᒃ

These Kamiik were Made for Running

A lie can run halfway around the world before I figure out how to say “halfway around the world” in Inuktitut.

  ᓇᑲᑦᑐᖓ

They Have a Word for It

I’m tired of grammar. Let’s go visit the dictionary.

I’ve Got a Right to See the Blues

On 1 April 1999, Nunavut had the first—and only—seating of the first session of its first Assembly. Somewhere along the line, the Inuktitut-language Hansard, the official record of this historic session, got misplaced. Maybe it never existed. Luckily someone held on to the Blues.

When you start trying to write UCAS on your computer, it helps to get a grip on the difference between fonts, characters and input. Or maybe you just need to know how to get those blasted syllabic keyboards to work. This group of pages should help point you in the right direction.

Does all that linguistic wrangling just seem too exhausting? Maybe you’d rather look at some pictures.

   

If you know the difference between what is real and what is not real, you may like this.
Or, then again, you may not.

And, finally . . .