You can find all kinds of useful and entertaining information at your local public library.
How to make yourself like an eel with the ability to escape from anything anyone ever tries to do to you.
Are you asking me or telling me?
and the hovercraft will never be that full of eels again
what do you mean by my hovercraft is filled with eels
How many eels will fill up my hovercraft
Do I win something if my guess is closest?
May your hovercraft ever be full of eels
Aye, and begorrah to you too.
how to catch and control an eel
If you are thinking of a collar and leash I can tell you right now it won’t work.
how many lives does a cat has?
how many lives has got domestic cat
how many lifes got a cat
how do you know how much life's a cat's got left?
Visitors from the UK seem to be especially troubled by the “how many lives” query.
Splitters of hairs may object that I do not, in fact, have this page. This is true; I’ve recently taken it down. But there’s no harm in preserving the search strings for posterity.
verbs you can do to glass
verbs you can do with glass
which is the verb that goes with glass
Well, “eat” of course.
why not to eat glass
Y’know, back before they had the Internet, there was this thing called common sense . . .
is it true that can eat glass
Well, for a given definition of “can”.
I really want to eat glass
Don’t let me stop you.
got hurt is a transitive verb or intransitive?
Hm, good question. I kinda think it can go either way, depending on whether there’s an agent. Now let’s sit back and see if someone asks whether “hurt yourself” is passive, reflexive or intransitive.
people that eat glass why don’t they die how do they prepare
Do I look like Julia Child?
how do people survive eating glass
how can people eat glass and live?
eat glass what happens
what happens after you eat glass
i want to eat glass but will it hurt?
WHAT DOES EATING GLASS DO TO YOU
WHY DON’T YOU TRY IT AND SEE.
americans aren't stupid questions
Query: Does someone out there maintain that Americans are stupid questions?
do we have worms in the nastril
I thought I had a page that detailed the differences between humans and caribou, but I guess I’ve misplaced it. No, wait, I’m thinking of the one where I say an Inuk hunter can tell the difference between a caribou and a geophysicist. No help there.
what microsoft font looks like euphemia?
That would be . . . uhmm . . . Euphemia?
what fonts were on computers in 1999
Ooh, I love questions like this. If you’d given some really useful information—like what platform you’re talking about, and whether you mean specifically the built-in system fonts—you might even get an answer. Not from me, though. I can’t remember that far back.
what happens when font substitution occur
How much time have you got?
how do i pronounce uqaq?
Send me a sound clip and I’ll tell you.
Q.: Why would someone need or want to pronounce “uqaq”? A.: Because you can’t get far in Inuktitut without it. The literal meaning is “tongue”, and it’s got all the secondary meanings you would expect.
Now, if you really meant “How do you pronounce uqaq (ᐅᖃᖅ)?” the answer is: with extreme reluctance.
what does obscure font mean??
It means you need to stop futzing around on the Internet and go buy a dictionary.
mac keyboard suddenly switched to greek
Well, switch it back. I can’t do it for you.
morphophonemic derivation for the words meaning “to dig,”
I don’t believe there is such a thing.
lion statant guardant tail coward over back gules
This is all one lion we’re talking about? “Coward” in heraldic animals is reguardant with the tail between the legs.
always pillage before you burn adventure game
Good heavens, what a memory. Slogan of APBB, the Adventurers’ Protective and Benevolent Brotherhood. You want to look next door in the /games/ directory.
color by number game Mac registration code
You betcha. Want me to pay your car insurance too?
tell me original swagrat with pic
Hang on. I know I’ve got the answer to that somewhere.
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} \.(in|pk)/
RewriteCond %{HTTP_REFERER} \b(q\w*|text)(=|%3D)([%\w]*)swag(\+|%2[0B])*rat
RewriteRule swagrat\.html /paintings/refrats/swagrat_marriage.html[R=301,L]
By the way, it’s spelled suhagraat.
what is unavailavility of basic commodities
You’re in India. You’re asking me?
random words that no one ever says
You mean like “dictionary”?
how to tape up your friend
This seems to be a recurring fad. Every now and then, the Duct Tape Is Your Friend page is hit with a spurt of variations on this question.
why do eels have difficulty with inflected endings
Y’know, I can kind of see where this question would lead people to my site. But if the answer involves one of those obscure conundrums told only in college linguistics departments, I am going to be awfully disappointed.
how did fonts get on computers in the first place
i have fonts others don t how can they read
i type and see what the font would look like
unicode problem while typing malayalam fonts in windows xp
why some font installed but certain word cant show
i need four letter after ceterain pattern in regular expresision
if it aint broke dont fix it red green
I do believe I have the answer to every single one of those questions—although not necessarily on the page you landed on.
what is difference between civil, criminal and judge judy case
Answer: Two of the three are constrained by laws in effect in the relevant jurisdiction. The third is constrained by . . . uhm . . . If I ever figure it out, I’ll let you know.
what kind of font should i use to make it look greek
“A Greek one” is the answer that comes to mind.
what should i do if my keyboard inputs a different letter from what i typed
Chase away the cat.
the first use of your computer what does Keyboard layout mean?
joomla if a person dosent have fon installed what does it revert
Oddly enough, I may know where to find that out.
what was that game on the old mac computers that you were a bug
Search me. But let me know if you find out. It sounds fun.
how did the three blind mice run after the farmer's wife if they were blind
Y’know, that’s a darn good question.
WHY MY MAC KEYBOARD NOT WRITING ARABIC IN WINDOWS XP AND THE LETTERS NOT IN THE SAME PLACE
If you’re trying to run Windows XP with Mac hardware, writing Arabic may be the least of your problems.
I think I cannot find ’fonts’ on this machine ... anyone know where they are supposed to be?
Did you look under the couch cushions?
is it considered burglary when you break into a family home afer [sic] you have moved out and locks have been changed
Hmm . . .
Wait, let me think . . .
On the whole, weighing one thing and another, I think I would have to say: YES. But don’t take my word for it; tell it to the judge.
a picture of a Terrier sitting in a chair with his paws out and head bowed with a prayer under the picture
This wouldn’t be one of those poker-playing dogs, would it? I guess the terrier lost the hand.
“The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower—suitable for every occasion. I carried them on my wedding day, and now I place them here in memory of something that has died.”
I can always tell when someone has an oldies film festival, because there’s a flurry of visits to Referential Rats. Incidentally, the em dash and the curly quotes are in the original query.
melissa's baby goes missing. melissa finds that an alligator has taken the child. melissa asks the alligator to give the child back. the alligator tells her that he will return the child if she answers a question correctly, but he will eat the child if she answers incorrectly. his question is thus: will i eat your baby? melissa replies, "yes." what will the alligator do?
I have no idea, but I’m pretty sure you will not find the answer in Alonzo and Melissa, since alligators are conspicuous by their absence from the book.
There had been a great deal of moving about in the warehouse during the day, running of trucks, and rolling of casks. Brisk, the liveliest of my brothers, had sat watching in a hole from noon until dusk, and now hurried through our little passage into the shed, where we were all nestling behind some old canvas. He brought us news of a coming feast.
‘A ship has arrived from India,’ said he, ‘and we’ll have a glance at the cargo. They’ve been busy stowing it away next door. There’s rice–’
The brotherhood of rats whisked their tails for joy.
‘Sugar–’
There was a universal squeak of approbation.
‘Indigo–’
‘That’s nothing but a blue dye obtained from a plant,’ observed Furry, an old, blind rat, who in his days had travelled far, and seen much of the world, and had reflected upon what he had viewed far more than is common with a rat. Indeed, he passed amongst us for a philosopher, and I had learned not a little from his experience; for he delighted in talking over his travels, and, but for a little testiness of temper, would have been a very agreeable companion. He very frequently joined our party; indeed, his infirmities obliged him to do so, as he could not have lived without assistance.
All right, come clean. You’re already on the page, aren’t you? Just one quibble: mine’s got em dashes and double quotes, while you’re using en dashes and single quotes. Either way, the text is in the public domain.
As with The Nine Lives of a Cat, I’ve since taken down this particular e-book page. But the query is too good to discard.
Where, you ask, are the pandas? Whither the penguins?
Oh, they’re still around. But it was time for a change.
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MiSTing of “Coming Home hints” MiSTing of “Alonzo and Melissa” The Panda Page |